What's your take on polyamory? It seems like more and more of my guy friends are polyamorous. Then again, perhaps they're just putting a label on what they have always done, or wanted to do.
In theory, polyamory makes sense. There is no reason why dyadic relationships should be considered better or worse than any other kind of relationships. I strongly believe that relationships are about sharing, not possession, and that love is something that can only grow. As we go through life and experience love, we take that love with use, even if the relationship in which it grew no longer exists. And on top of all that theoretical mumbo jumbo, let's face it: most people in ostensibly monogamous relationships end up straying at some point, anyway, and many relationships survive these transgressions.
On the other hand, human emotions don't necessarily follow human reason. Jealousy seems invariably to arise in polyamorous relationships, on at least one side, and that can be terribly damaging. How does one trust that one's partner wants only to hook up temporarily with someone else, and that s/he won't end up leaving you for him/her? On top of all that there's always the risk of contracting an STD and sharing that wonderful fun.
All considered, polyamorous relationships seem like an interesting idea to talk about, but I'm not interested in being in one. Call me closed minded, but I would rather be with one partner than many.
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It all depends on how you think about relationships. If you divide your commitment between N people, do they receive the full amount or 1/Nth? Is it a genuinely poly relationship, or one person's private harem? Is the monogamous relationship a partnership of equals, or legalized serfdom for one or the other? In the end, relationships aren't simple. They are highly complex things, as are the people involved. You could produce a hundred books on the subject and not even touch the fringes of everything out there.
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